you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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