I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
