you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
