That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
