She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Randomize
