so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
