They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
This is classic penis vs brain.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
dude. I can hear the air.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
