I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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