Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
