I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize