You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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