Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
