I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
