She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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