He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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