I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
