we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
