(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm like, not good at living.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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