Your face is a jimmy john
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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