I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
