it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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