What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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