Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
