I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
