We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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