Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize