i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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