R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
