college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
How external is "for external use only"?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize