So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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