nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
