i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
