My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
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