So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
