Soap is not a condiment
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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