What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
