Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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