no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
is that a dick in a sweater?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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