similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
