try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
