Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
