chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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