I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
this just has baby written all over it
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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