I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
