Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
