just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
