Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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