he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
