I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
