his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize