nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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