i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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