Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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