i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
