guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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