so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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