Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
