i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
