I think I am morally bankrupt
I got her a Nickelback box set.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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