doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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