I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I believe in your delicious
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
