ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
