Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
